


A Memo on the Tablinius

by Newyorkcobra



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-15 10:55:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20865053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Newyorkcobra/pseuds/Newyorkcobra
Summary: What if humans achieved space flight and then lost contact with Earth? What if they became a theocratic space empire?What if they found Earth again after all of Earth's population died?How would this theocratic group describe an object that, in modern day, we take for granted?





	A Memo on the Tablinius

From: The Council of Solaris Administratum

To: the Ecclesiarch of Nova Roma, Proxima Centarus

Your Holiness,

It has been three months since we have returned to the home world of Terra. As you required us to reveal our human history during the re-cultivation process, after our extension of Terra’s sun’s years, we have sent military engineers of the Legio XXI Elysium to acquire any relics of our forefathers. Two of our members have discovered a device which we call “tablinius.” It measured 14.5 cm by 7.5 cm. The case was made of a polymer material. There also was some sort of window made of glass on the top of the device. We decided to deconstruct one to find out its components. It contained copper, gold, and tungsten metals. These were connected to a silicon chip, square in shape. When the device was touched, it lit up and we were asked to complete a numerical ritual. Thankfully, we found the solution to be 1-2-3-4. After inputting these numbers, a voice was projected through the device. We asked it, “What is your name?” to which the voice, which appeared to be female, replied, “SIRI.” With SIRI’s help, we discovered historical records of rituals performed using the tablinius. We have concluded that this tablinius was a means of communication to a deity of some sort, with SIRI being an angelic messenger. 

We asked SIRI to elaborate on the history of the tablinius she inhabited. She revealed to us the names of three prophets -- Jobs, Wozniak, and Cook – who discovered the deity and then created the tablinius in order to allow others to communicate with it. The messages of these prophets appeared to be different variants of the same rituals. These rituals included self-portraits sent to the deity to show devotion. It seems that the higher the tablinius is held aloft, the closer the worshipper was brought to the deity. Also, portraits of food seemed to be some sort of sacrificial offering. We then discovered a ritual that allowed two worshippers to communicate over long distances perhaps to enable them to make a joint offering.

However, our research on the device has shown that the tablinius was not always a blessing. The people who used it had the belief that it was so important and intertwined with their lives that if they received a message from the deity, they would ignore their own well-being and safety to immediately show their devotion.

Finally, we discovered one of the heresies in this worship. Apparently, you could invoke the deity without observing the proper ritual. This was referred to by the term, “butt dialing.” The nature of this heresy needs further study by the Council.

There appear to also have been lesser gods called “Apps,” but this pantheon will also require further study.

We will continue our research during our re-cultivation process and will report any major finds to you.

Respectfully submitted,

Principus of the Legio XXI Elysium


End file.
